Wednesday, March 10, 2010

10 reasons you probably are a better parent than me.

  •  Number ten: I bet you don't have a burn the shape and nearly the size of pizza on your forearm.  This of course this was received while pulling actual pizza out of the oven.  I also bet you also didn't hop in the shower this morning forgetting about said burn and then remembering very quickly about it when the hot water hit it. So yeah I am a klutz.
  •  Number nine: So I get my diapers delivered monthly. Ah, you say, this is smart you don't have to worry about remembering to the store or running out in the middle of the night.  Yes both these things are true, as long as you don't mess with the system.  If you are me you mess with the system.  Seeing that we had "plenty" of diapers I decided to use the feature with my service to push back delivery a week.  This would have worked out fine except for two things; first my daughter decided to take on urinating as an Olympic sport and second the date I moved it to is the date it gets shipped out not the date that it arrives at the house.  I will never forget that UPS does not deliver on Sundays again.
  • Number eight: Pants I bet you have a least two pairs of pants and that one of them might be clean.  You are so far ahead of me on that one it is not even funny.  I have one pair of jeans.  That is right one pair, not one pair that fits or one pair I like.  So you ask what do I do when I need to wash the pair (after so many days of wearing them its embarrassing) I am forced to wear the dreaded sweat pants.  The sweat pants I told myself as a teenager I would never wear to town, to the store, or anywhere in public.  At this time I would like to say sorry to my own mother for judging her when I had no clue at all.  Love you, Mom!
  •  Number four:  So I am sure you have had a few laughs and are enjoying picturing me around town with my saggy sweat bottoms. Now I have to reveal to you that I am not just scatterbrained but also crazy.  I will admit it I got caught up in the cute and I did not think this one through very much at all.  And my family and friends in their wisdom respected this crazy postpartum idea.  Two weeks before my daughter started crawling I got a puppy. No not a young dog, a puppy.  One that needed potty trained, crate trained, chew trained, no biting the baby trained.  Let's just say it took about 2 months before I threw the towel in on this adventure.  As one well spoken sister told me her thoughts later, " A baby and a puppy what is she thinking?".
  •  Number three:  I am guessing that you guys weren't up at 3am writing down a list of  top top tens while your kid was asleep and you should have been too.
  • Number two:  You are probably smart enough not to start rearranging the baby room and office the night of your husband's birthday party.  Not only did we start it but we were nowhere close to finishing when it was time for bed.  The crib was ready but everything else was not so lacking the foresight I was scrambling around trying to find a diaper (it was in the old nursery) and a place to change said diaper (also in the old nursery) without the help of the handy dandy nightlight (it was in the new nursery) all of this happening at 2:30 in the morning. Yay me! Tune in for more posts on my obsession for rearranging the house.
  • The number one reason you are a better parent than me.... you are reading this blog and therefore can learn from my many mistakes.
So those of you who noticed that there really are only seven reasons good for you another thing you are better at then me, counting.  Thanks!

1 comment:

  1. Haha, this was great! You know I HAVE learned a lot from watching you and Emily, but it's all in very good ways. And hey, the puppy made perfect sense to me until I came over that one night to see diapers with their guts spilling out and saw the situation and thought "WTF!? Maybe you could do it but I sure couldn't!" But I would have done the same thing--- so thanks! And I'm pretty sure there is never a good time to rearrange the house. You get that itchy feeling (i have it too) and then it takes house and you lose steam after the first hour and you make bargains with yourself to get it done and it only feels good after you have it all done and by then you are dead tired. It's always best the morning after I say.